One Woman’s Opinion……………………..October 7, 2014

  

     I am uncomfortable with the expressions “passed away” or “passed on” or simply “passed”.  It is school days lingo; I have not taken any exams recently.  I wish people would confront the truth about death it is a piece of life.  Just as every one of us emerged from mother’s womb, so each of us will sigh that last sigh, and die. One unnamed writer claims that using the phrase “has died”, is rude.  That boggles my mind. When someone dies, that is a truth, not to be celebrated but to be honored, accepted and respected.   Of course it is rude if a death is reported excitedly with disrespectable relish.

     “Passed on” or any of its derivative phrases is harsh on my ears, they evade the reality of death.  Maybe for some it softens the blow.  The variety of issues includes specific religious beliefs.  Did my beloved husband pass on to a better life? Personally, I do not believe that, he loved life just as it was.  I do not believe in an after-life though I respect those who do.  I believe in the immortality of one’s spirit as long as someone remembers.  Did my darling son pass away?  Not at all, he did not go very far, he died and landed in my heart. As long as I live his memory will be lively, especially that his Dad is there to keep him company.

     Other issues with the use of “passing away” include: pass is an active verb.  When someone dies there is no action that takes place.  “Active” stops, the one who dies becomes less and less active until finally, he/she loses life and dies.

     I do not usually engage in the use of euphemisms.  It is in my nature to look truth directly in the eye.  Perhaps for that reason, when someone dies, I need to say it like it is. I think we agree, as noted, that death is part of living.  Everyone, as far as I know, does eventually die.  Just as we live our lives differently from one another, so we die each in our own manner.  You might say that your friend passed; I might say that my friend died.  I guess in the long run, we each understand the words; it is the loss, the sadness and compassion that matters.  “Pass” will never express for me, how I feel about my beloveds’ deaths.  I lost them, they did not pass by, their physical beings left me and became ashes, as they wished.  Their spirits will continue to live in my heart as long as it beats as I wish.