LOSS

                      In 1957, I lost my Dad a shocking, painful blow, I was terribly sad; I really missed him!  Mother followed Dad too quickly.  It is not supposed to happen that devastating way.  I had not time to mourn, to empathize with Mother’s torn heart.  And it was deeply torn.  “He needs me”, she wept, “You kids are doing just fine!”  She understood our comfortable marriages.  Her words were meant to smooth the moment when we needed soothing.  I did not understand, she was already on her way to Dad.  She left me no time to weep or to whine. 

                      In two month’s time, she did indeed follow Dad.  That did not rime with the rhythm of my pain.  Only yesterday I felt Dad’s hand holding mine and I still had more questions for my Mom.  Suddenly, she too was gone, she was not there, she landed in my heart along with Dad.

                      Then my dear brother sighed his last in 2007, fifty years after Mother and Dad.  I was not ready then either, he still had much to teach me.  Then to add the final blow, the coup de grace, my beloved Erv followed Ben in 2008!  Erv had lost his verve; he could no longer wait for me.  He broke his promise that we would go together perhaps jump off a cliff, holding hands!  He had to go and leave me with only my memories for company. They continue to glow despite the terrifying blow.  Missing is a heavy weight to bear.  Nevertheless,  I will always honor my dear ones, my lost ones by living, doing, hoping, trusting, remembering and embracing them.