My friend came to call… September 17, 2014
Once a week in 1958 I found my living room filled with a half dozen energetic seven-year old boys. It was Cub Scout Wednesday and I was in charge. When the boots and snowsuits inundated me, I appealed to the other mothers for help. One special woman stepped up and joined the fun. From that day to this, we have been close friends. Our husbands enjoyed each other’s company and our children tolerated one another with respectful good manners. Fifty-six years of a friendship that has withstood the passage of time in good humor, much fun and occasional disagreements to spice things up…”Please do not smoke when you baby-sit with my kids!” she begged adding, “My house stinks when you leave.” “Is your husband always so pick-y about the proper champagne glass?” I asked impatiently. “You cut his hair while we were away, how dare you!”
Today we are both widows, she has been alone longer than I. There have been companions for her over the years, my husband and I enjoyed those men too; today as I grow into my widowhood, I thoroughly understand that the need for companionship is real, nagging, often debilitating. Vera and I respect and love each other as good friends do. So this year, like so many others, she visited her son, daughter-in-law and me. They live in Northern California and I, down South. Coming from New York to California is a daunting prospect and reality, I can attest. Her devotion to her kids and to me, is embracing and remarkable, crisscrossing the country when one is past eighty is not so simple, takes courage, planning and helpful children.
We had a good visit, Vera and I, believe it or not after all these years we have sustained one another, we still had stories to share. New stories! Mothers-in-law and sisters-in-law seem to provide the best humorous and horror tales. We apparently saved them just for such a time when we were stuck inside because of the awful heat outdoors. We laughed a lot; it was much too late to weep over any of it.
Friendship is an important ingredient with which to nourish health and well-being. Our relationship is mellow and strong. Today when we said good-bye neither of us shed a tear or made a grandiose statement about our mortality. I fully expect Vera to return to chat and to gossip; I may even summon the courage to go East. We will see each other again and if it is not to be, we had a really good time during California’s latest intense hot spell.
Today we are both widows, she has been alone longer than I. There have been companions for her over the years, my husband and I enjoyed those men too; today as I grow into my widowhood, I thoroughly understand that the need for companionship is real, nagging, often debilitating. Vera and I respect and love each other as good friends do. So this year, like so many others, she visited her son, daughter-in-law and me. They live in Northern California and I, down South. Coming from New York to California is a daunting prospect and reality, I can attest. Her devotion to her kids and to me, is embracing and remarkable, crisscrossing the country when one is past eighty is not so simple, takes courage, planning and helpful children.
We had a good visit, Vera and I, believe it or not after all these years we have sustained one another, we still had stories to share. New stories! Mothers-in-law and sisters-in-law seem to provide the best humorous and horror tales. We apparently saved them just for such a time when we were stuck inside because of the awful heat outdoors. We laughed a lot; it was much too late to weep over any of it.
Friendship is an important ingredient with which to nourish health and well-being. Our relationship is mellow and strong. Today when we said good-bye neither of us shed a tear or made a grandiose statement about our mortality. I fully expect Vera to return to chat and to gossip; I may even summon the courage to go East. We will see each other again and if it is not to be, we had a really good time during California’s latest intense hot spell.
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