A Piece of My Mind               

July 10, 2015

   At this late date I have decided to momentarily put aside the Memoir that is filled with the past and start

writing about now.  In my life of 93 years the past is fast fading.  Oh sure there are many stories that I cherish an 

do not hesitate to relay to friends who express interest.   Life for me now however, must be about today.  I must  

live one day at a time, that might be cliché, but when you arrive and survive into the nineties, it is now, today that

really matters.  I am finding that my younger friends support my survival.  They are good for me, we exchange no

kvetching ( complaining), just swap challenges!

   Younger relatives, on the other hand, have little patience with their aging aunt.  That is quite a blanket
 

statement.  For me it is true eighty per cent of the time.  I believe,  if I would just sit back moan a little, allow

others to make the important decisions regarding my future, I might become more beloved.  Sitting back, 

kvetching is not in my nature.

  
   These days trouble seems to find me frequently when I open my mouth to family.  Apparently the wrong thing is said or the right thing is not said.  Recently, my daughter showed me a picture of her son, my grandson who had taken off a lot of weight.  I know I said something like “Great…thanks” and then posted it on the refrigerator.  Judi was offended that I did not make more of a fuss.  We had talked earlier about his weight loss.  I told her that I thought the credit and kudos go to Matt, he is 27 years old and he dieted in prison!  That is awesome. I wrote to him, shared my pride and offered compliments.  Regret I failed to say it all at the moment when Judi handed me the picture!

   Then I called my niece who is piqued with me.  I am not sure why.  I tried to apologize for something I did not understand, she told me she has no energy for forgiving, too much on her plate.  She has no patience with me, or respect for my years.  Perhaps as she and Judi pass into the seventies, eighties and nineties they will discover growing old also has issues.  I ask for almost nothing from them.  It would be more comfortable, from their point of view, if I languished in a retirement facility. I appreciate their concerns, even their wish to see me “settled”.  They must understand I am the one who is responsible for me.  I am still able to make my decisions about myself.  They should hold their tongues, control their anger and let me decide what I am going to do next.  It is my decision until I lose my ability to think straight or I ask them to do something with which they disagree.  Then, “let’s talk”.

   I have no trouble with friends.  They are easy, they know how to be accepting, they know how to listen and they are discreet with advice.  That is the kicker.   I do not wish to be told what to do next before I ask. It is time to stop distributing advice and stop having expectations.  I still am my own person and have every right to make my own decisions and react as I see fit. 

   If I say or do the wrong thing, I am sorry and acknowledge the slip-up.  I too have expectations: I would enjoy some patience, some understanding; softer attitudes, fewer arguments.  In return for those I will be more careful and studiously stay away from playing the “age card”. Of course I am not sure what that means.  I am 93, I find it awesome that I am still here,  I am grateful, expect some understanding and respect, if that is playing the “age card”,  I am in the game!