Thoughts on My Birthday

Thoughts on my Birthday                                      January 20, 2015

  

   Yes it is hard to believe today I am 93!  I do not know what 93 is supposed to feel like.  A 93year old book would be considered an antique.  Am I an antique?  No, according to the dictionary an antique has special value as a collectible because of its considerable age.  In the first place, I am not a collectible; I have no special value in the antique market.  More than one “Aunt Ag” is superfluous even to me.  I enjoy everything and everybody who crosses my path.  I can only handle one of me. 

   There is no question that I am lucky.  Let me list the reasons.  I am lucky that I am relatively well; I am happy that my mind does not wander off into space, though my ability to forget is trying to overtake my memory.  I have my daughter close by, she worries about me and is “there” for me.  Even though we occasionally quarrel, we know how to comfort one another lovingly. I have many friends who reassure me constantly that I am alive, balanced and worthy of the time they spend with me.  That is the most significant part of being in the nineties club.  The people who still care; the folks who pick up the phone on my birthday, send cards, even buy gifts, seek me out with congratulations, are the ones to thank, because thanks are in order.  They are the ones who keep my spirit lively.  They are the ones who rescue me from loneliness.  My friends from today and yesterday who call me, write to me, remember me, they deserve my sincere gratitude.

   They bolster and support me, prove to me that my life still matters.  Because they care, I am able to reciprocate, when they call me, I call back.  Life is more than me, more than a single individual.  Life was meant to be lived among other human beings.  From the moment of birth we have interacted with others.  The infant’s cry of hunger or discomfort is a call to another person.  We need each other to remain healthy and well, to continue the aging process, to be lively, to give and take in life. We cannot fly solo and endure in health and joy.  Sometimes one other is enough, as time moves along, one is no longer enough.  It “take a village” (pardon my plagiarism, Hillary), to encourage and support the elderly and I am grateful that more than one village looks after me.

   Thanks everybody, I had a wonderful 93^rd birthday!!!

A Busy Month

January 16, 2015...A Busy Month,

   This month started with a bang, a good bang!  On December 31st I flew to Phoenix to attend and participate in the Annual Meeting of the National Association of Retired Reform (progressive) Rabbis, NAORRR.  This group of women and men are dear to my heart.  My beloved Erv and I rescued it in its infancy and led them to full membership in the community of Reform Rabbis for fourteen years.  I believe this month celebrates 32 years of service to the community of Retired Reform Rabbis.

   Of course I had the joy and satisfaction to connect with many old friends.  Some are elderly folks, as am I, others are younger colleagues.  Many sat at Erv's feet as they found their way to fulfillment and satisfaction.  I am indeed a lucky widow who enjoys the friendship and respect of so many warm and friendly women and men.  Because they come from around the country, we share different perspectives; it is always fun to disagree, argue a bit.  I stay in touch with many over the year, but others I only see and speak with every other year.  NAORRR meets alternately on West or East Coast for the Annual meeting.  I no longer go East.

   It is like a college reunion every time I go.  There is never enough time to catch up with everyone because the fun time is sandwiched in between didactic sessions.  Even the elderly are eager to learn something new, absorb and argue new ideas.  Then there also were a couple of practical sessions.  When Erv and I were in charge we were heavy on the practical.  This gave me the opportunity to add my experience and participate.  The Program Chair had asked (or maybe I volunteered) me to lead a widows’ group.  In the past Erv and I had a friend, a recent widow, we asked her to lead a group.  It was a failure because she talked too much about herself.  So I had a big challenge.  I knew I had to avoid a focus on me.

   At the last moment a light bulb went off in my head, I knew what to do. After introducing myself with a single sentence about Erv,  (We were seated in a circle and had a floating mike) I asked the first person on my left to tell us his name and why he chose this workshop.  Yes, men came; I had been warned they might not.  As we learned that afternoon, widowers also confront unbelievable sadness, loneliness and sorrow.

   In the circle, we were off and running.  I only needed to answer a few questions add to their own understanding, everyone had a chance to speak and they did.  It was honest interaction.  They asked each other questions, supplied answers.  I was simply the leader with a mission: “one person at a time please”.  I am so pleased that I went through the mess at the airport and suffered the cold on the plane.  The trip was worth every chill and delay.

   Now I round out this January 2015, with 2014 behind me, and face my 93^rd birthday stretching toward 94, 95….and on?