“Ready Set No”!                                                                 August 8, 2015

   I write this for all of my beloved family and friends, for Judi, for Rachel and the others who have expressed their concerns about me, to me and to each other.  I understand those concerns for me and for my future.   I share them!

   When concern, however becomes intrusion, a line must be drawn.  I am thoroughly and completely grateful for the love and fears that some members of my family show for my welfare and my health.  I understand that my age is a red flag.  How can one be past 93 and continue to live alone?  That is a fair question.  Of course I answer that question from my experience.  If “alone” means that I sleep alone and when day is done, I am usually alone, that is correct, that is the way of life that I have studied and crammed for during the last 7+ years.  I wish my family to understand 1/ that I am not afraid, 2/ that over the years since my beloved took off, I have schooled myself in the art of being alone and 3/ that I like my own company!  Incidentally, most important, I have an infinite number of ways to fill my time.   In addition, my friends are always ready to lend a hand, have some fun, answer my questions and my needs.

   I regret that my “aloneness” worries others.  I am always grateful and appreciative to accept guidance, suggestions and help. I know it would be more comfortable for everyone who loves me, to know that I am ready now to be safely stashed in a comfortable retirement facility.  Unfortunately for the concerns of my others, I am not yet ready to give up my freedom, independence and the comfort of my home.  Call me selfish, I do not mind. I believe that we old folks have earned the right to be selfish; so many years of being unselfish have gone by.

   I hope that everyone understands that the decision to move has to happen when I am ready to make it, not when others think that I am ready.  I understand my beloveds believe that it is for my comfort and safety that they know I am ready and should be eager.  When I lose my mental acuity and when I tire of living alone, I will be ready.  Not yet!