A Busy Month

January 16, 2015...A Busy Month,

   This month started with a bang, a good bang!  On December 31st I flew to Phoenix to attend and participate in the Annual Meeting of the National Association of Retired Reform (progressive) Rabbis, NAORRR.  This group of women and men are dear to my heart.  My beloved Erv and I rescued it in its infancy and led them to full membership in the community of Reform Rabbis for fourteen years.  I believe this month celebrates 32 years of service to the community of Retired Reform Rabbis.

   Of course I had the joy and satisfaction to connect with many old friends.  Some are elderly folks, as am I, others are younger colleagues.  Many sat at Erv's feet as they found their way to fulfillment and satisfaction.  I am indeed a lucky widow who enjoys the friendship and respect of so many warm and friendly women and men.  Because they come from around the country, we share different perspectives; it is always fun to disagree, argue a bit.  I stay in touch with many over the year, but others I only see and speak with every other year.  NAORRR meets alternately on West or East Coast for the Annual meeting.  I no longer go East.

   It is like a college reunion every time I go.  There is never enough time to catch up with everyone because the fun time is sandwiched in between didactic sessions.  Even the elderly are eager to learn something new, absorb and argue new ideas.  Then there also were a couple of practical sessions.  When Erv and I were in charge we were heavy on the practical.  This gave me the opportunity to add my experience and participate.  The Program Chair had asked (or maybe I volunteered) me to lead a widows’ group.  In the past Erv and I had a friend, a recent widow, we asked her to lead a group.  It was a failure because she talked too much about herself.  So I had a big challenge.  I knew I had to avoid a focus on me.

   At the last moment a light bulb went off in my head, I knew what to do. After introducing myself with a single sentence about Erv,  (We were seated in a circle and had a floating mike) I asked the first person on my left to tell us his name and why he chose this workshop.  Yes, men came; I had been warned they might not.  As we learned that afternoon, widowers also confront unbelievable sadness, loneliness and sorrow.

   In the circle, we were off and running.  I only needed to answer a few questions add to their own understanding, everyone had a chance to speak and they did.  It was honest interaction.  They asked each other questions, supplied answers.  I was simply the leader with a mission: “one person at a time please”.  I am so pleased that I went through the mess at the airport and suffered the cold on the plane.  The trip was worth every chill and delay.

   Now I round out this January 2015, with 2014 behind me, and face my 93^rd birthday stretching toward 94, 95….and on?