A Strange Thing Happened

A Strange Thing Happened: There is nothing funny or ludicrous when one visits a dear one in prison. Though folks will smile in response to a greeting there is no gaiety or fun as visitors listen for their names to be called. Sometimes the weatherman adds to the general discomfort. We could sit in the cold and/or rain, waiting for the call. Those are times when I realize that not only my beloved inmate is punished, but so are we, his Mother and I. I visit my grandson every other Sunday. Last Sunday, believe it or not humor enlivened the anxious group of families. I had forgotten one basic rule concerning visits: a visitor may not wear a brassiere with wires. Obviously those in charge of writing rules have had experience with inmates’ ability to turn innocent items into dangerous weapons. My own imagination conjures ideas of how to turn the thin, innocent-looking, flexible bra wires into daunting weapons. I would need a whole set of tools to accomplish anything…I do not have that kind of array, even in my garage. When my turn came, I walked through the metal detector at the prison last Sunday I suddenly remembered the “no wires” rule. The deputy was not impressed with my plea “I am 93, I forgot!” He suggested that I walk (a distance) to the visitors’ center and get a different bra; he was not clear whether I needed to purchase or borrow one. “Just do it if you wish to visit.” My embarrassment was no match for his clarity. The distance was intimidating. I hated delaying Judi’s visit with her son. I suggested that I just take my bra off (in the woman’s room) and visit without wearing one, I was wearing a shirt and jacket, foolishly believed I would be presentable bra-less. I guess I was wrong. The deputy said, certain of his words, “I cannot allow you to do that.” Guess who is in charge! I was already intimidated enough not to state “why, you do not pat every woman down, you have no idea who is and who is not wearing a bra.” I decided this was a power thing or a lascivious man thing: did he think I was planning to seduce someone? Didn’t he notice I was completely covered-up that I am old, need to ride up and down the steep stairs and high hills? We were standing at the gates of a state prison; I behaved, kept my thoughts to myself. My daughter who supported me through this ridiculous caper borrowed a scissors. The deputy ALLOWED her to have them, take them outside and release the wires in my bra. She is 30 years younger than I, apparently she looks less dangerous than I do. I understand rules must be obeyed. But no one can make me believe that the deputy at the metal detector makes a decision about whether a woman is or is not wearing a bra. He hears bells ring and off he goes on his mission: a woman should wear a bra without wires, but wear one she must. Somehow, without touching anyone he can be set off, like the metal detector, no one goes bra-less on his watch. 
  February 10, 2015 Happy 97th Birthday Brother Ben, wish you were here! AGH